Ways To Annoy Pete
by ScorpioGirl1987
Summary: Let's hear it for the worst Disney Villain ever: PETE! -boos- -cough- Anyway, these are ways to annoy Pete.


**I am so freaking pissed at Pete right now, after watching a few episodes of Goof Troop and Mickey's Once Upon A Christmas. Oh my God! Eric Cartman from South Park is more likeable, and that's saying something!**

**Anyway...this is just a list of ways to torture/annoy Pete. You are welcome to suggest things for a later chapter.**

**I do not own Pete or anything familiar to the Goofy Movies, Goof Troop, etc. They belong to Disney.**

1. Call him stuff like Tubby, Lardo, fatass, JumboTron, Montezuma, Jabba, Grimace, Pillsbury, Stay-Puff every time you see him.

2. Make piggy noises every time you see him.

3. Play music really loud all night long.

4. Follow him closely everywhere.

5. Tell him that a fourth grader has a higher IQ than him.

6. Call the IRS on him.

7. Burn a huge pile of his cash in front of him while he's tied to a chair

8. Feed Pluto lots of beans and have him sit on Pete's face

9. Tell him that PJ is gay for Max and they had sex

10. Tell him that his wife should've married Goofy

11. Tell him that Goofy is 1,000,000 times the person he will ever be

12. Tell him that he won a billion dollars and to collect his money somewhere like a gay bar.

13. Feed him a bowl of chili, put a plastic finger in it, and tell him that it's really Peg, PJ, and Pistol.

14. Frame him for rape and/or murder

15. Keep calling him and with a creepy whisper, say "You die in seven days". Keep counting down until "You die tomorrow".

16. Send him newsletters from the Goofy, Max, Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Sora fan clubs.

17. Poke him repeatedly.

18. Tell him Pistol is pregnant with Max's (Or even Sora's!) child

19. Inject him with the AIDs virus

20. Stand really close to his face in the morning.

21. Talk a lot during his favorite show

22. Steal his food while he's eating

23. Lock him in a room with Sora, Donald, and Goofy

24. Have Goofy have sex with Peg while Pete watches.

25. Have Scrooge McDuck play his bagpipes next to Pete for 24 hours straight.

26. Tell him that PJ is Heartless material.

27. Quack like a duck every time he waddles into the room.

28. Have Goofy and/or Max play with something he wants really badly that he didn't get, and make Pete watch.

29. Feed Huey, Dewey, and Louie lots of sugar and set them loose at his house or his car lot.

30. Tie him to a chair, deprive him of food for 16 hours,m and eat his favorite foods in front of his face. (For better results, have Goofy, Max, or Sora do it or Mickey)

31. Kill Maleficents' crow and blame it on Pete

32. Pinch Daisy's butt and blame it on Pete. Donald will take care of him after that...XD

33. Cover him with meat sauce and sic a pack of hungry dogs on him

34. Tell Child Protective Services that Pete beats his children every night and sodomizes Max every week.

35. Piss on the sidewalk and tell a police officer that Chainsaw peed on the sidewalk, and Pete didn't clean it up.

36. Pee in a glass, cool it in the fridge, and offer it to Pete, telling him it's lemonade.

37. Make him watch lame-ass cartoons a few inches from the TV, tied to a very uncomfortable chair with the remote just barely out of his reach for 24 hours.

38. Make him listen to music from Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers for 24 hours straight.

39. Set his house, car, and boat on fire after telling the Fire Department that Pete is a prank caller and he was planning on prank calling the Fire Department next.

40. If you know the Kyle's Mom's A Bitch song from South Park, replace "Kyle's mom" with "PJ's Dad", and sing it to him loudly, and put it on YouTube.

41. If you know Max as a little kid, convince both him and Goofy that Pete is really a terrible monster that eats little boys.

42. Post a picture of Pete kissing a guy on the internet.

43. Super-glue pictures of Goofy, Mickey, Donald, Sora, and Max all over his house and car lot.

44. Have PJ buy a car from Earl's Car Lot instead of Pete's.

45. If you know the Icky Vicky song from The Fairly OddParents, replace "Vicky" with "Petey"., and broadcast it all over television and the internet.

46. Prank call him every day

47. Post a picture of Pete having a threesome with Minnie and Daisy everywhere. That'll be one nasty divorce with Peg! Not to mention a brutal beating from both Donald and Mickey.

48. Send him a warning note that all his food has been poisoned, and steal his wallet so he won't buy more food.

49. Convince PJ to file for emancipation.

50. Super-glue two round mouse ears, a brown spikey haired wig to his head and dress him up like Goofy.

51. Replace his wardrobe with clothes like Goody's, Max's Sora's, Donald's, and Mickey's.

52. Shout "Heil Mickey!" or "Heil Sora!", or "Heil Goofy!" whenever he walks by.

53. Smile at him and tell him you're smiling to keep from laughing.

54. Drop subtle hints that Goofy is sleeping with Peg

55. Drop hints that Max or Sora are sleeping with Peg.

56. Say "What?" after everything he says.

57. Sing The Annoying Song constantly.

58. Have either Goofy, Sora, or Max sing Stacy's Mom, replacing Stacy with Pistol.

59. Tell Simba that while Pete was in the Pride Lands, he tried to rape Nala. (Uh-oh!)

60. Be completely still and quiet when he walks into a room.

61. Booby-trap his bed

62. Tell Pistol that there is no Santa Clause (CRUEL IRONY! XD)

63. While watching an action movie with him, shout out "OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED [name of character here]! YOU BASTARDS!" every time someone's killed or knocked unconscious.

64. Burst out laughing hysterically after a long silence.

65. Cry hysterically and make him comfort you.

66. Let loose a huge group of mice in his bedroom.

67. Throw ice cold water over him.

68. Crap on his doorstep every morning.

69. Destroy all of his possessions with a metal bat while he's tied to a chair.

70. Have Sora and Max in Pistol's bed in the morning, both holding Pistol and smiling.

71. Every time you go to his house, kick the front door open and scream for PJ.

72. Scream "HOW COULD YOU BE SO HEARTLESS!" and run off crying every time he refuses to do even the smallest of favors.

73. Talk loudly while he's on the phone.

74. Set wild animals loose in his house.

75. Threaten to castrate him, and threaten to rape and kill slowly and painfully his whole family if he _dares_ to con, manipulate, hurt, tear apart, or even insult Goofy and Max; or try to take over Kingdom Hearts.

76. Have him committed.

77. Blow an air horn in his ear while he's sleeping.

78. Shout out ":Dirty!" every time he's affectionate with Peg or if they exchange food nicknames (Peach Pit, Sugar Lumps...)

79. Send him junk mail

80. Get him drunk enough to get an "I Love Goofy and Max" tattoo.

81. Touch him (without being perverted)

82. Sing a breakup song every time he and Peg have a fight.

83. Invite everyone except Pete to his favorite restaurant.

84. Sing every song that comes on the radio or on TV very loudly.

85. Toilet paper his house...with his own toilet paper!

86. Touch his car.

87. Stuff porn magazines under his bed, so Peg can find it!

88. Write Big Fat Meanie on his wall.

89. Every time you see someone doing something stupid, say "Ha! He must be taking stupid lessons from Pete!" while Pete's within earshot.

90. Tell him that you're surprised that he hasn't kidnapped Max and used him as leverage against Goofy to set off a nuclear bomb in a major US city yet. (Although, that might give him ideas...)

91. Sign him up for a subscription of Parenting Magazines.

92. Every time Pete complains about Goofy, tell him "At least he's not a greedy, fat, intolerant, lazy, manipulating, asshole!"

93. Have PJ try to get Kairi pregnant just to see if they would have a hybird.

94. Talk to yourself all the time.

95. Have PJ arrested and carried off in chains...WITHOUT trial!

96. Have everyone who interacts with him to ignore Pete completely no matter how hard he tries to get their attention.

97. Put a "Kick me if you think I'm a big, fat, manipulating, life ruining jerk!" sign on his back.

98. Every time he divulges a new plan to rule Kingdom Hearts, say "That plan sucks ass!"

99. Give him body wash laced with pink fur dye

100. Brainwash him to donate his entire bank account to an orphanage.

101. Fake a news bulletin of terrorists bombing random houses in Pete's neighborhood. Especially blue houses with balconies. All the yellow houses are safe, because they love yellow. Then have every store that sells paint tell him that all yellow paint has been sold out.

102. If he gets KFC, eat all the skin off the chicken.

103. Pretend to win the lottery, set Pete up to steal it, and laugh after he gets arrested for counterfeiting money.

104. On the big screen at the House Of Mouse, show movies of Pete's most embarrassing childhood memories and pictures of his humiliation.

105. Sing the Mr. Grinch song to him every time you see him doing a bad deed replacing Grinch with Pete.

106. Have Peg or PJ buy the House of Mouse from him, and change all the rules.

107. Have PJ apply for a job at Earls'.

108. Give him a full fledged manicure

109. Have Mickey and Minnie, Donald and Daisy, Sora and Kairi, Max and Roxanne, or Goofy and Sylvia have sex on his bed.

110. Get Goofy to get rid of his brick barbeque grill. That way, Pete won't go over to his house and manipulate him.

111. Vandalize and demolish everything in his RV

112. Set off smoke bombs in his house, car, and car lot.

113. Tell Hades that Pete makes fun of him all the time, that he's gay for Zeus. That'll earn him a spot in the Underworld.

**...Yeah. Heh. Guess you all know who my least favorite Disney character is by now. XD**


End file.
